Star Wars (The Force Awakens) was an awesome blockbuster, popcorn-eating, roller coaster ride film that won’t fail to entertain young or old. A series that expands across 30 years (maybe more), this movie will please those who have never seen the originals and prequels on the big screen. With that said,the biggest weakness is its story and how it’s told. This means I will be spoiling a lot of the story… But really, how can you spoil a story that has already been told? This movie feels more like Episode 4,5,6 put together.
Why are there storm troopers? After all in part six, Return of the Jedi the empire falls. Emperor Palpatine was slaughtered and its despotic system abolished. Your thinking “Hey asshole, they are obviously going to explain it on the next one”. What? Why couldn’t it be on the beginning text crawl, or a soldier mentions it, Chewie explains it or at least a sketch. The entire movie I was wondering where they come from and it kept me from enjoying the movie. If it’s a sequel to the originals they have to explain who is our villain since it will set the stakes of the movie. It would’ve been a benefit to the story since a lot of the plot tries its best to spoil the truth about our main villain, Kylo Ren.
Oh man the main villain. To the credit of the movie it would’ve been impossible. How can you top the biggest bad asses in modern cinema, Emperor Palpatine and Darth Vader. You can’t. So what we got was Shnookie (the Space Jockey from the movie Alien/Prometheus) and Kylo Ren (the villain from grandma’s boy PJ). Kylo Ren costume design kinda mimics Darth Vader, with the helmet and everything. The problem is that he keeps talking and putting on the mask that really becomes distracting. Because the mystery was in knowing what he looked like. But in the torture room he removes it and I am like “Wooow he looks nothing like Han Solo.” I don’t know what I was expecting from Kylo Ren, but I feel the movie would’ve been better if he only took it off when Han Solo asked him to take it off so that we get to see his son through Han Solo’s eyes. That’s the biggest problem – the movie spoils the main twist. In the very beginning: “Oh Kylo Ren, but you were never like this, you came from the light side”. Or when Shnookie tells Kylo “Oh yes the droid is with your father, Han Solo”. It was bad enough he had to telegraph it to us but was it necessary to say the name? A little overkill if you ask me. People doesn’t say, “Hey Chris, I saw your father, Harold Cortes!” Real people don’t speak this way. It’s just the movie is insulting viewers, assuming people can’t think for themselves. Also a big thank you to the kid that was sitting behind me that just couldn’t hold the urge to announce the identity of Kylo Ren the second he appears on screen.
The climax of this movie would put you to sleep. Now why was a planet sized Death Star battle won with a handful of x-wings? There was this part where they have to hit a facility and the pilot say “Oh man we can’t destroy it, the armor is too strong” and the leader responds “Just keep hitting it”. Hahahah What?! Where are the Y-wings (bomber type space crafts), or B-wings for that matter (another type of bomber type spacecraft)! The entire movie was full of fan service and they couldn’t for their lives do a trench segment? I don’t know, it just felt so cheap. The death of Han Solo was so telegraphed. The light-saber fight at the end of the movie, it all just felt like fan service. At least on the prequels they did something new. This movie felt very familiar like I’ve seen all this before done better. I am surprised no one said it by now but if I wanted to see A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, I could just watch them. This movie doesn’t push forward the story but really re-tells it. It feels like they wanted to reboot the series. This feels like it should be called Star Wars Episode 3: A Hope Strikes Back of the Jedi.
I am really interested in seeing how they will make two movies without them becoming more like a Matrix reloaded-revolutions style. Like there being more plot and the third movie being the big space battle. They played it so safe with this movie I feel like it should’ve gotten a G rating. With that said these are just my thoughts. This movie feels like it has more nefarious intentions, created from the dark side. I kinda like the prequels better. Wow I never longed for Jar Jar Binks. I am looking forward to seeing how they will explain how they come across Lukes Skywalker’s blue light saber, a saber that was casted out of Cloud City when Luke lost his hand. How did R2D2 came back to life (I bet 100 bucks that it was Luke Skywalker or Yoda that did it) right after the Death Star Biggie size exploded. Who is Rey’s parents, some say Skywalker but how if Jedi’s cant fall in love – so how did he procreate?.. OOH I know, that silver stormtrooper was female, I bet any money that it was Skywalker’s Baby Mama that gave birth to both Fin and Reia!
You would probably love the movie. I hate it because I am a fan of the series and my expectations are very high. There were truly good parts to this movie though. It’s amazing to look at but I just feel the story should’ve been the main course. This was almost a fan fic. Wait a minute, of course it’s a fan fic! George Lucas had nothing to do with it. I guess the joke is on me after all.
